Tag Archives: Procrastination

Can’t even see the wagon!

I’m so far off the writing-wagon that I’ve wandered away from the road altogether and I doubt I’ll see another wagon to even be able to flag it down and hop back on any time soon. Okay, I’m taking the analogy a little too far, but I’m not even trying to write now.

Success in writing normally depends on… you know… writing.

Usually.

Sometimes it is better to get off the beaten track (how many clichés can I fit into one post?) and discover something new. I don’t mean a new pursuit (though I must admit I’ve still found time for some photography), I just mean the opportunity to come at life from a whole different angle. And that’s what this feels like.

So I’m not the least bit worried. My mind still wanders to the next story I want to write, and I’m pleased to say at least in that respect I seem to have made up my mind. November was always going to be busy, and December doesn’t look like it will let up much either, but come January, I think I’ll be ready to climb back on a wagon. Maybe a different one, maybe one I make myself, or maybe I’ll just run out of ways of trying to fit my life into this cliché and I’ll just start writing again.

P.S. Here’s the moon peeking out between the clouds.

Full Moon
Full Moon Rising

Officially off the wagon

Not a word was written this week. I know I often say I’ve done no writing, but that usually means no *real* writing. Just a few bits and pieces around the place, maybe a dabble with editing something. This week there was officially nothing.

In fairness it was a busy week, and I always knew it would be. It was why I didn’t try NaNoWriMo this year. But even so, I thought I’d do more than I have.

And now I have a choice; I don’t have anything booked for the rest of Sunday, so I could try and get some writing done… Or I could call up my bus buddies and see if they want to have a drink at the pub.

The sun is out. The birds are singing.

I think we all know which option I’m going to pick.

Trouble starting

Just before I went back to full time work I finished editing and writing a whole heap of stories; one novella, two short stories and two flash fiction pieces. It was a good time to take a break. There’s nothing more torturous than not being able to write when the writing swing is in full force, so I didn’t have that problem for the new job.

Now I’m struggling to land on a ‘next’ project. I keep thinking I’ve got it, but then when I sit down at the blank page it comes out a bit forced and hollow. It doesn’t feel right. Experience has taught me that I’m just reading my words through dark eyes and when I come back to these failed starts in a few months’ time I won’t judge them so harshly, but at the moment they feel like rubbish.

I think this means that I’m starting the wrong projects. As much as it scares me, it might be time to get started on the next novel. And what do you know, November is just around the corner, and with it comes NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month. Could it be a sign? I now know that I can write a novel in a month thanks to my JanNoWriMo effort, and it would be a lovely way to bookend the year by writing another novel.

Maybe I’ll spend the dying days of October planning the novel and make the call on Thursday? The next decision will be do I publish my word counts for all to see? With multiple social engagements already booked in November, I’m not sure that I’ll be hitting the 50K cumulative targets quite as often as I managed in January. But I am interested to find out if I could…

I’m back

I have to confess that my phone line got fixed much sooner than they told me, so I’ve been online for a while. But September was a busy month, so I decided to take it off. I’m sure everyone can relate to that.

Some exciting things happened in September, not only did the princess turn 10, but I got two stories accepted! I won’t say any more until the contracts are in, but they certainly reminded me that I need to send off more stuff, more often. Stories won’t get accepted if they are only present inside my computer.

I also started a new job, so that took up a lot of my head-space, but I’m starting to get used to it now and my mind is starting to wander again when I’m on the bus. There are two main stories that I keep returning to, so I think the next step is to choose one to be next year’s JanNoWriMo. Or who knows, maybe I’ll even get into NaNoWriMo this year?

So thank you for sticking with me regular readers (I know who you are!) and expect to see me back here every Sunday as usual.

The Princess working at the computer. She doesn't look 10!
The Princess working at the computer. She doesn’t look 10!

Jan-no-wri-mo week 2

I always knew that week 2 would be hard. This is when the excitement of starting has waned, the book can enter sagging middle territory and you see that even with all the hard work you have done, you have even more hard work stretching out before you. I felt all of that this week. I even gave myself two days off because I just couldn’t face the book a couple of times. There is a chance I might not hit my word target this week.

To add to the draw of not being at my computer, I bought myself a new toy; the Olympus Tough TG-5 camera. It takes super-close photos (along with about a million other things I haven’t yet worked out). So I’ve been out in my garden playing with it. This is a lot more fun that forcing myself to squeeze out story. It also doesn’t help that I’m not confident the story is going in the right direction. It took a turn I didn’t expect, and I don’t know if I’m up to taking it where it wants to go.

But I’m going to try really hard to have a big Sunday and see if I can at least get close to the word count, because I know this hard reality; the only thing harder than week 2 of a Wri-Mo is week 3. So head down, I’d better get writing.

See below for some of this week’s efforts with the new camera…

Bee
You have no idea how many bee photos I had to take to get his little face in the picture.
Slaters move a little less, so this guy was a bit easier.
Slaters move a little less, so this guy was a bit easier.
When the wind dropped this Hebe was even better at posing than the slater
When the wind dropped this Hebe was even better at posing than the slater
I love how the ends pop off to reveal the beautiful flowers.
I love how the ends pop off to reveal the beautiful flowers.

 

Wants and needs

I want to publish novels that people read and enjoy. I need to earn money to pay my bills. Wants are born of passions and desires, needs are forced upon us. Isn’t it funny how easily we find the motivation to meet our needs but often only the inspiration to meet our wants?

I get up each day and go to work, not with joy and excitement, but acceptance. And I DO get up each day and go to work. So why don’t I use the joy and excitement of writing a novel to get me to the desk each night to write? I think it’s because it is a want not a need. So when I’m tired, or run down, writing gets jettisoned along with all the other optional wants (fitness, healthy eating, enough sleep, a proper cleansing and moisturising regime).

I’m a very pig-headed and motivated person, so I tend to make time to chase my wants, but even with that, I am amazed at how often I let them slip. I never let my needs not go un-met. It got me thinking about my personal needs and how I can change my wants into needs.

Food and bills are pretty frontline on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, so let’s ignore them, but let’s look at other ‘needs’ in my life. I’m over 40 now (sometimes) so I’ve seen some of my wants make the transition into needs already. I want to keep my teeth, so now I actually floss every night. Yes, every night. In my 20’s I’d be surprised if I did it once a month. The fluorescence lights in the bathrooms at work have made colouring my hair a need that I used to be able to let slip. Saying no to chocolate and wine has also become the norm for me in recent years, that was unheard of in my early 30s.

I think there is a bit of shaming in ‘wanting it all’, like we should just be grateful for what we have. Don’t get me wrong, I know that anyone who counts colouring her hair as a need is a very lucky person indeed, and I AM grateful, but I also think there is nothing wrong with wanting more. Or should I say needing more.

Imagine what I would achieve if publishing a novel became a need? There are so many silly little wants I could sacrifice to get it done. Think; if we could turn the desire to make this world a better place into a need to get it done, what might we achieve? Yes, I’m very grateful for my health, and home, and loving family, but I am also grateful to be able to want more. I think I need to publish another novel. It’s time to get this done!

Non-break break

I’ve been saying for a few weeks that I’ve been on a break from writing. It was only when I was explaining what this meant to a non-writing friend the other night that I realised that my idea of a break is probably not most people’s idea of a break.

The past month I’ve been spending a LOT of time thinking about stories. I’ve been trying them on for size, working out which one fires me up the most to spend a lot of time with it. The other thing I’ve been doing is reviewing a lot of old writing. I’ve been checking out where I got up to on old stories, reading plans for stories, updating all my excel spreadsheets so I get a good picture of all my non-finished stories. Basically getting an overview of everything outstanding.

Interestingly, I’ve also been writing. While not working on a new project just yet, I have been prepping stuff for send-out, giving work to beta-readers and writing this blog each week. I haven’t counted any of this as writing.

My new definition of ‘writing’ is when I am totally immersed in one project. When I come home from work and get onto the computer instead of the TV. I think about it when I’m on the bus, walking to the shop, or even (scarily) when driving familiar roads. Writing for me now is when I have made a commitment to a story to get it finished.

That’s what I’ve not done over the last month, and that’s why I say I’ve been on a ‘break’. But I think it is time to take the plunge. By this time next week, I plan to be in a committed relationship… with my next novel.

Wake up call?

In the past two weeks I have done no fiction writing. I don’t feel bad about it (like I usually do) but neither do I feel particularly good. If I’m honest it has left me a little empty. I have also been struck by how much free time I actually have. Now I understand why my friends with kids and families to organise question what I do with my days. I had no idea how much time I filled with writing until I stopped.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve not spent all that time on the lounge in front of the TV (but a big chunk has gone that way). I’ve been gardening, exercising, cooking proper meals and giving my friends and family the attention they deserve. I’ve enjoyed this time away, but I can feel the hole inside me opening wider every day. I chose to ignore it, until now.

Yesterday I started coming down with my first cold in many months. Maybe even years. I can’t actually remember the last time I had a cold. I can’t help but wonder if my dropping the ball on my writing might have contributed. My body is telling me that I’ve got the balance out of whack.

I know people will think it is a long stretch to draw this conclusion, but I am a big believer in mind over matter, and I know that right now things feel wrong by not writing. I wrote more in the past 24 months than I had in the previous 6 years and I have been pretty healthy in the past 24 months. I truly believe my life was nicely balanced then. Now it is not.

My muse is not with me, and I have no ideas for stories, but today I’m going to write. Just putting those words down has sparked a flicker of excitement in my belly. Let’s see if I knock this cold on the head before it really takes hold. If it does, then I think I have to accept my fate and commit to writing for the rest of my days. I really like that idea.

Saved by the deadline

I know that I don’t really suffer from writers block. I suffer from not writing. It’s not that the muse is missing, the ideas aren’t coming, or my brain is shutting down on me, it is pure and simple that I don’t sit myself down at the computer and force myself to write.

How do I know this? Because this week I wrote. I wanted to enter a competition which closed at the end of May, but it had opened at the beginning of January. I had two stories which needed a bit of work, but I neglected to do it for weeks and weeks on end. Then the deadline was on my doorstep, so I sat down and did it.

I wrote several thousand new words and edited nearly seven thousand words all up. Not a huge number, but it is a number. It’s a number that really I should be getting each week. I did that number with all the same work, family and social pressures that I’ve had ever other week when I did not write.

I don’t have another deadline looming, so I know I am running the very real risk of slipping back into doing no writing. But at least now I will see that for what it really is; laziness.

Writing exercises

Most people who have joined a writers group or done a course in creative writing have done writing exercises. I haven’t. I’m one of those people who reads a ‘how to’ creative writing book and diligently reads the exercise at the end of each chapter, but never does them.

I feel like I’ve got enough unwritten or unfinished stories that if I’m going to sit down and write, it should be to get those done. Writing about my character’s childhood or their last breakup seems a bit pointless. I can know how it would have been for them, but that’s a moment’s reflection, I don’t feel I would gain anything from writing it down.

I can’t help but wonder, though, if during these little hiatuses that I seem to have with increasing regularity, if maybe I did some exercises I might get back into the habit of writing again much faster. There is only one way to find out. I’m going to try a writing exercise. I’ll let you know how I get on.