Lonely occupation

Something you will hear time and time again is how ‘lonely’ it is to be a writer. I’ve always thought people said that because of the long hours you spend alone at the computer writing. This has always seemed a bit of a contradiction to me, because if you are writing you are spending time with your characters so you are not alone.

This week I got hit with the full brunt of the lonely occupation. After 329 days (and of that over two months spent in the ‘number 1 in the queue’ position) my novella got rejected. I really liked that novella and thought it had a chance. To really rub salt into the wound it was a form letter rejection, so much so that it went to my junk mail, and I opened it just before I started a particularly taxing day at work.

There was no-one I could tell. My work colleagues think I’m wasting my time with my writing, so it would just be confirmation to them that I’m being foolish, and my friends and family are all working through fairly serious issues at the moment, so I didn’t want to burden them with the ‘problem’ of my dreams not coming true. Instead all I could do was think to myself ‘that sucks’ and get back to work building intranet pages.

I have got a writer friend who I will burden with my disappointment when we catch up next week, but I know by then I will have gotten over it and integrated it into my reality. But I can say that this week I felt like a lonely writer. Then I felt guilty for not appreciating all the good things in my life. For me, writing and guilt go hand in hand so I guess I’m normalising already. But I’ll chalk this up as just another sucky week and move on. At least gay marriage was legalised, so it wasn’t a total loss.

Bald Baby Crow

Family of Criws

In early October I started getting a visitor in my garden; a bald baby crow. Still hurting from the loss of the Gardner, I didn’t want to get too close. But with his daily visits, and watching him grow, I couldn’t help but be drawn in. I noticed that other baby crows in the area looked normal, so why was this crow bald?

When I Googled ‘bald baby crow’ I got nothing besides a UK site which suggested my crow had mites and was likely to die. Given that Adelaide crows are not actually crows, but ravens, and they are nothing like the evil-sounding birds I’ve seen in the northern hemisphere, I decided to ignore their I predictions of doom.

His parents didn’t seem fussed and he seemed to be thriving in all other ways, so I decided to document his growth. Below, for anyone else who has a bald baby crow in their backyard, I want to give you hope that your bald baby crow can grow into a healthy, feathered crow (or raven):

Bald Baby Crow Week 1
Bald Baby Crow Week 1

First photo – sorry, this was taken on my phone, so not terribly close or clear. When he first arrived his legs were naked as well. By the time I got this picture he had feathers on his legs and a dark patch on the top of his head.

Bald Baby Crow Week 2
Bald Baby Crow Week 2

Now I’ve got the SLR out, so you can see him a bit better. The dark patch on his head has definitely turned into feathers.

Bald Baby Crow Week 2 later
Bald Baby Crow Week 2.5

SLR + Zoom. The feathers are growing, but his ears are still very exposed.

Bald Baby Crow
Bald Baby Crow week 5 (left side)

Above and below – left and right side; his ears are now covered and just a small patch of feathers coming in on his throat hint that anything was ever not normal

Bald Baby Crow Week 5 (right side)
Bald Baby Crow Week 5 (right side)

So now the little bald baby crow is not bald, not a baby and apparently not even a crow. He’s now a fine-feathered raven.

Who are you calling a crow?
Who are you calling a crow?

Top 10 Writer Things to Do – Make time for writing

Yes, it’s the last Top 10 for the year, and yes, it’s a pretty obvious one. Clearly to be a writer you need to write. To be able to write, you need time. Most of us don’t have much time, so we have to make it. That means cutting time from something else.

What you give up is not always going to be as easy as a few episodes of Master Chef, or the weekly vacuum. Sometimes it’s going to be fun stuff, stuff that you want to do, stuff that is a whole lot more attractive than sitting at your computer trying to drag words out of your brain.

Trust me, when you make this sacrifice you’ll feel like a writer.

I only tend to apply this when I’m in the middle of a project. I have large-ish breaks between projects where the fun stuff is likely to win out. So for me this isn’t an all-the-time thing, but I would suggest, if you want to finish a project, you need to do this.

We all make our writing time in different ways, but my way of doing it is to plan my week in advance. So I can book in that work Christmas party, but I’ll be sure to also block out writing time in the same way I’d book in a coffee with a friend. Once that time is allocated, it is booked.

Here I’ll give you a warning; as someone who is making almost no money out my writing, I find friends and family don’t really understand why I’m saying ‘no’ to them so I can write. So be prepared to be evasive ‘oh, I’ve got something on that day’ (which also helps to make you seem more mysterious) or if pressed, outright lie; ‘that’s the only day I can see <insert name of friend they don’t know here>’. Or if you have more guts than me, just tell them that’s how it is so too bad, so sad.

The key is you need to commit to a time, and then commit to that time. That’s how books are written, and that’s how you become a writer. Good luck!

Wants and needs

I want to publish novels that people read and enjoy. I need to earn money to pay my bills. Wants are born of passions and desires, needs are forced upon us. Isn’t it funny how easily we find the motivation to meet our needs but often only the inspiration to meet our wants?

I get up each day and go to work, not with joy and excitement, but acceptance. And I DO get up each day and go to work. So why don’t I use the joy and excitement of writing a novel to get me to the desk each night to write? I think it’s because it is a want not a need. So when I’m tired, or run down, writing gets jettisoned along with all the other optional wants (fitness, healthy eating, enough sleep, a proper cleansing and moisturising regime).

I’m a very pig-headed and motivated person, so I tend to make time to chase my wants, but even with that, I am amazed at how often I let them slip. I never let my needs not go un-met. It got me thinking about my personal needs and how I can change my wants into needs.

Food and bills are pretty frontline on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, so let’s ignore them, but let’s look at other ‘needs’ in my life. I’m over 40 now (sometimes) so I’ve seen some of my wants make the transition into needs already. I want to keep my teeth, so now I actually floss every night. Yes, every night. In my 20’s I’d be surprised if I did it once a month. The fluorescence lights in the bathrooms at work have made colouring my hair a need that I used to be able to let slip. Saying no to chocolate and wine has also become the norm for me in recent years, that was unheard of in my early 30s.

I think there is a bit of shaming in ‘wanting it all’, like we should just be grateful for what we have. Don’t get me wrong, I know that anyone who counts colouring her hair as a need is a very lucky person indeed, and I AM grateful, but I also think there is nothing wrong with wanting more. Or should I say needing more.

Imagine what I would achieve if publishing a novel became a need? There are so many silly little wants I could sacrifice to get it done. Think; if we could turn the desire to make this world a better place into a need to get it done, what might we achieve? Yes, I’m very grateful for my health, and home, and loving family, but I am also grateful to be able to want more. I think I need to publish another novel. It’s time to get this done!

Editing

I have recently been editing a YA novella on my computer. I thought I’d done a pretty thorough job, so when I downloaded the calibre-ebook maker software, I decided to try this story as my first ebook. Chuffed that I’d managed to work out the software, I uploaded the ebook onto my kindle and took it on the bus with me the next day.

It is amazing how frustrating it can be to read a piece of your work in electronic format when you can’t edit it. I had barely got off the first kindle page and I found an error. A few pages on, a missing word. A bit later, an extra word. Then a word that was very nearly the right word, but it wasn’t the right word. All of this on a piece I thought I had thoroughly edited.

I printed a copy of the story on paper so that I could read it with a pen in my hand. I found a whole collection of other missed edits. I still haven’t found the missing word that I saw on my kindle read. I can’t tell you how much it bugs me that I know it’s in there somewhere and I can’t find it. I’ll need to read the kindle version again.

Something I’ll never understand is why we read different formats so differently. It seems that my brain is most likely to make auto-corrections when I’m reading on the computer. This is rather problematic given that I do most of my editing directly in Word. I pick up the most grammatical errors when reading on paper. And (apparently) I find the most typos when reading on kindle.

I’m lucky this story is only a novella, because I can see that I’ll be reading it many more times before it is actually ready for release. At least I should take heart in the fact that I still enjoy it despite all the re-reads. Maybe that will be the most important part of the edit of all; if I like it when it’s finally edited, then maybe it’s really ready?

Non-break break

I’ve been saying for a few weeks that I’ve been on a break from writing. It was only when I was explaining what this meant to a non-writing friend the other night that I realised that my idea of a break is probably not most people’s idea of a break.

The past month I’ve been spending a LOT of time thinking about stories. I’ve been trying them on for size, working out which one fires me up the most to spend a lot of time with it. The other thing I’ve been doing is reviewing a lot of old writing. I’ve been checking out where I got up to on old stories, reading plans for stories, updating all my excel spreadsheets so I get a good picture of all my non-finished stories. Basically getting an overview of everything outstanding.

Interestingly, I’ve also been writing. While not working on a new project just yet, I have been prepping stuff for send-out, giving work to beta-readers and writing this blog each week. I haven’t counted any of this as writing.

My new definition of ‘writing’ is when I am totally immersed in one project. When I come home from work and get onto the computer instead of the TV. I think about it when I’m on the bus, walking to the shop, or even (scarily) when driving familiar roads. Writing for me now is when I have made a commitment to a story to get it finished.

That’s what I’ve not done over the last month, and that’s why I say I’ve been on a ‘break’. But I think it is time to take the plunge. By this time next week, I plan to be in a committed relationship… with my next novel.

Top 10 Writer things to do – Tell people you are a writer

This one took me a long time to do. I’ve been writing stories for my own pleasure since primary school, but it wasn’t until I turned 30 and had the first of my (what turned out to be annual) mid-life crises that I decided to tell people I was a writer.

It was a really big deal for me when I first did it, and I was nervous. I hate that question ‘what do you do’ when you first meet someone, but now I had something more honest to say than whatever career I was lolling about in at the time. So I put on a confident face (totally faked) and said ‘I’m a writer’.

I was nervous because I expected to be ridiculed or pitied, but that didn’t happen. Sure, you get the occasional eyebrow-raise, but for the most part people are supportive and interested. And more than a few of them confess to aspirations of writing as well.

After we establish that I write sci fi/horror/fantasy they usually look at me a little differently (I haven’t dressed as a goth since Uni, so look a little beige these days). Many will even ask if they can read something. I love this request, I see it as a really supportive thing to say, but I also never hand anything over. My rule of thumb is wait until a person asks three times, because that means that they really want to read something.

To be honest, since I’ve been saying I’m a writer I’ve only found one downside… People who don’t write sometimes have ‘this great idea for a story’ – which invariably is not great, not original, or only makes sense to that person. My standard come-back is that they should write the story, and to be honest, they should. They have the vision and they know the story, so they should write it. Then there can be another person out there who can proudly proclaim themselves to be a writer.

When to consider the market

This question really is quite academic for me at the moment. In truth I have *no* market, so I’m not restricted in what I write. For the most part the short story magazines I sub to don’t care if I previously wrote like-genre stories. In fact half the time they strip your name from the submission so the short story stands alone, regardless of the author.

Novel publishers are different. They care deeply about what you have published previously, or what else you can give them if they pick up your book. I’ve always had the attitude that I’ll worry about that when my first novel gets picked up. But that approach was easy to have when I only had two novels written.

Now I have written a YA science fiction novel, an adult fantasy novel, a YA dystopian future novel, an Adult near-future science fiction novel and a YA science fiction novella. Recently I re-started an adult fantasy novel I’ve been picking at for over a decade, but then walking home the other day I kept thinking about a YA horror novel that is finally falling together. Not to mention that my adult horror novel keeps bugging me, asking me why I left it hanging.

None of these novels are similar to each other. Right now, if one of those pieces got picked up I would struggle to get any of the others shoe-horned into a similar genre. Which begs the question of what should I be working on next? Do I continue to write what I want to write, or do I start trying to specialise? Given none of the novels I’ve finished so far have been picked up, maybe I’ve gone totally wrong with what I’m writing anyway, and I should experiment with something totally different? Is it worth considering the market with my choice of what to work on next?

If I’m honest with myself, I’m starting to think that none of my novels will ever get picked up. I’m seriously considering the possibility that my only readers will be me, my beta readers, and possibly whoever clears out my crap when I pass off this mortal coil (in the very, very distant future).

So I guess that really does answer the question; my market is me, so I should continue write what I want to write. Now all I have to do is work out what that is. Easy 😐

Motivation

Writing a novel takes a lot of time. Editing a novel (for me) takes even longer. There are a lot of hours in a novel, or even in a long ‘short’ story. My experience has been that exuberant enthusiasm has never held on for long enough to get me to the end.

Motivation to write generally falls into two different categories; carrot and stick. The carrot is things like imagining typing the words ‘the end’, visualising your novel in a book shop, or the burning desire to get your characters through this testing time and see them out of the terrible situation you put them in.

Then there is the stick, which is where pretty much all of my motivation comes from. The stick is things like not wanting to stay in your day job, knowing how disappointed you’ll be in yourself if you get to the end of the week without having written any new words, and the old chestnut of all-pervasive writer’s guilt – which sucks the joy out of all non-writing moments, rendering even the most delicious Haigh’s chocolate unpalatable.

Recently I have tried to find a different carrot method by looking at other successful people and asking myself ‘what would they do if they wanted to be a writer?’ These people don’t have to be writers, they just need to be people who have pulled their finger out and succeeded at something through hard work and determination. They also need to be people you genuinely admire.

How it works is this; you find yourself spread out on the lounge with the cat curled up beside you and some terrible reality TV on the screen. You’ve had a tough day in the office and you are considering finishing off that bottle of wine you opened on the weekend. Then you ask yourself ‘What would <insert person-you-admire’s name here> do right now?’ If you’ve picked the right person it will hopefully get you off the lounge and into your novel.

I’ve been using this for over a year now, and it has helped me get to the computer time and time again. By the time I write my first sentence it all becomes about me again, and wanting to finish the story, but when it comes to getting the computer fired up and the TV turned off I really need to give credit these other people.

Of course the previous two weeks where I didn’t write a word show that this doesn’t work all the time, but it has worked often enough that I’ll continue to use it. And to be honest in the last week I have written nearly 5,000 words and the question I’ve been asking myself is ‘what would *I* do if I was serious about being a writer’ and that feels a whole lot more positive. It also means I can appreciate my Haigh’s chocolate again.

Wake up call?

In the past two weeks I have done no fiction writing. I don’t feel bad about it (like I usually do) but neither do I feel particularly good. If I’m honest it has left me a little empty. I have also been struck by how much free time I actually have. Now I understand why my friends with kids and families to organise question what I do with my days. I had no idea how much time I filled with writing until I stopped.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve not spent all that time on the lounge in front of the TV (but a big chunk has gone that way). I’ve been gardening, exercising, cooking proper meals and giving my friends and family the attention they deserve. I’ve enjoyed this time away, but I can feel the hole inside me opening wider every day. I chose to ignore it, until now.

Yesterday I started coming down with my first cold in many months. Maybe even years. I can’t actually remember the last time I had a cold. I can’t help but wonder if my dropping the ball on my writing might have contributed. My body is telling me that I’ve got the balance out of whack.

I know people will think it is a long stretch to draw this conclusion, but I am a big believer in mind over matter, and I know that right now things feel wrong by not writing. I wrote more in the past 24 months than I had in the previous 6 years and I have been pretty healthy in the past 24 months. I truly believe my life was nicely balanced then. Now it is not.

My muse is not with me, and I have no ideas for stories, but today I’m going to write. Just putting those words down has sparked a flicker of excitement in my belly. Let’s see if I knock this cold on the head before it really takes hold. If it does, then I think I have to accept my fate and commit to writing for the rest of my days. I really like that idea.

The journey of a spec fic writer.